When you feel like you’re getting nowhere fast

The Separation Coach - Sarah Cole


It’s easy to feel as though you’re getting nowhere fast, but a moment of reflection can help you realise just how far you’ve come.

Sometimes you can feel as though you’re getting nowhere fast, but by taking a moment to reflect you may just realise how far you’ve come. I’m just as guilty as the next person of falling in to the trap of not feeling satisfied or good enough. I can forget to recognise when I’ve reached that top rung on the ladder and celebrate my successes. But a recent conversation with my husband saw us both reflect on how far we’d come over the years – the challenges we’ve faced and milestones we’ve overcome as a family.

When I married the second time around, I brought my two children to the relationship and then we had another baby of our own. For most people this would be enough (!), however my husband and I also run a business together. While the industry is very different from my work here, we’ve jumped through a number of hurdles over the years – the main one of which has finally come to an end. New challenges will come (that’s a given) but what we went through repeatedly changed our lives within the space of a few short years.

Our business has placed immense pressure on our family unit, yet somehow our relationship has survived. There have been many times when we’ve felt as though we’ve been putting in blood, sweat and tears but not reaped rewards, however we’ve both kept going. We managed to put food on the table and keep a roof over our heads. While we can’t even begin to understand how everything held together, we clung on to our business. It may not be quite where we want it to be yet – or where it once stood in the past – but it’s ours.

Throughout the course of the conversation – as our venting took a turn towards reflection – we were able to honour our resilience. We listed the things we did throughout the process and the trials we overcame. I was reminded of my own childhood where money was always scarce, but nevertheless mum always tried to do better – working her way up that next rung of the ladder. I realised that the inner drive propelling me through these more recent experiences – the instinct to expect better, do better and never give up – all came from that earlier experience.

On reflection, my husband and I could see the benefits of our decisions – decisions we may still be paying for, but were our best survival options at the time. We had a vision, then faced one challenge at a time and never gave up. Now we can see how far we’ve come, removed from the heat of the moment and the undeniable stress of that time. It’s been a great reminder to celebrate our successes, reflect on our achievements and accept that everything is moving forward as it should.